THEY'RE STEALING OUR CHILDREN'S MINDS

Unless you have been sleeping under a rock, you already know that Jerry Falwell has come out with the proposition that popular PBS personality Tinky Winky is gay. I appreciate Rev. Falwell's concern that Tinky Winky should "out" himself, but that truly is a personal decision that Tinky Winky will have to make on his own, when he is ready. Nevertheless, Jerry Falwell makes the accusation that the "Teletubbies'" producers have a gay agenda through the design characteristics of Tinky Winky, the largest of the overgrown weebles. According to Falwell, Tinky Winky's purple color, triangle antenna and choice in accessorizing (a nice black purse) represent his interest in same-sex conjugation.

This is nothing new. Half a year ago, when the Teletubbies came to the U.S. from England, the same statements were made by protestors (probably led by a certain purple competitor) concerned with the show's eerie surrealism. I guess just the devil in general not being enough of an opponent, Jerry Falwell has found this witch to hunt. And following the first rule of the televangelist, you have to attack something popular. As an example, even the most conservative republican will admit part of the attack on Clinton has been because he is so popular a president. Jimmy Carter at his lowest prominence admitted in "Playboy" he "lusted in his heart." Their was no inquiry, no Kenneth Starr. The most our nation could muster after a huge collective yawn was, "cute, Jimmy."

But what if Jerry Falwell is right? Could there be some X-Files type conspiracy afoot to "turn" our children gay? Maybe Tinky Winky is just the tip of the iceberg. My 1 year old son does seem to have an uncommon interest now in Broadway Musicals. Could there be other children's programs that have role-models that are less than manly in such an important position? Mr. Rogers? Hmm. Steve from "Blues Clues?" He does seem rather neat. And was it coincidence that Barney was reading "Rub-a-dub dub, 3 men in a tub" the other day? I don't know. Upon inspection, the trail of popular children's personalities seems like it might lead straight to Piedmont Park. Anyone would have a hard time defending Pee Wee Herman's demeanor. Even Kaptain Kangaroo had the moustache, the sensitive wit and an over-affection for Mr. Green Jeans.

The point is, and I do have one, we make anything we want, look like anything we want. I can go to Disneyworld and make similar claims questioning its immorality. Think about it: "Cinderella;" get it? C-i-n, as in s-i-n. And how about Peter Pan? A man who wears tights and "swings" both ways from his vine? And what of "Snow White?" That's just the most common nickname for cocaine. Want more proof? Look at her 7 dwarfs, all symptoms of drug abuse: Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, et. al,. They might as well could have thrown in an 8th dwarf, Munchy.

If Jerry Falwell wants to attack something as sweet and innocent as a children's show, let him. That is his job. Televangelists in their ranting after all, are the pro wrestlers of religion (should i apologize to pro wrestlers?) In alot of ways I appreciate Jerry Falwell. I believe in most of the things he believes in and I loved the way he chewed up Bill Mahr on "Politically Incorrect" recently. I just can't believe he has sat on the floor on a consistent basis with a 2 year old watching "Teletubbies" in its natural context. And context is the key element in understanding.

Yet, what if Jerry Falwell is right? Should we bring back children's personalities like the tough guy Buffalo Bob, who was the epitome of gay bashing (He made the male "Clara belle" dress like a clown and then rendered him mute). I guess any of us with boys should dress them up like lusty policemen, fireman, cowboys and indians. I'm just afraid my son will grow up wanting to be one of the Village People.

Billy Murphy -- 2/11/99