What’s Wrong With Taunting?

“Your father is a hamster and your mother smelt
of elderberries. Run away or I shall taunt you a
second time.” - Monty Python & the Holy Grail

Just what is so bad about taunting? Suddenly, IT is the catch-all reason for all our society’s ills; from low self esteem, to bad grades to school shootings. Yet, I don’t think we have enough gibing, jeering and teasing. Through so many of our “polite” and “correct” programs much of today’s good natured fun at someone’s expense has been made taboo. Thus, our culture in an effort to wipe out every “bad” germ from social interaction has actually rendered the body incapable of fending off real disease.

At no time in history have a group of citizens anywhere been so sheltered from negativity, yet at no time in history have a group of citizens anywhere been so thoroughly, mentally weak. You want our society to grow stronger? I say bring on the taunting.

Just as skin grows thicker from tangling in briars and brambles, our emotional health can actually benefit from being the target of some good old fashioned “poking fun.” Before antiseptic child rearing books were written by detached doctors, parents used to “kid” their children. Teachers used to “razz” their students. Then, they were told it was bad; that they were tearing at the psyche of their children like hyenas at an antelope. No one stopped to determine the benefits.

It does seem more polite to not tease a child, but there is a useful relevance. At the least it is preparation for the real world, lived-out in lockers rooms and dormitories and cubicles. At the most, it is a legitimate form of communication. Dads especially, lacking in sensitive communication skills, lots of times set up father-child relationships that are built on little tauntings and teasings that result in a fun loving, humor-based bond. Teasing is just as much alluring as it is taunting. If you would have taken away my father’s ability to tease or talk about football, he may as well have been a mime. And I’m not angry at the world. I don’t even complain about the cable company.

In so many cases today, these victims of society who have committed the most of heinous of crimes, cry how they were teased while young for not fitting in or not being a part of some clique or group. Well, sorry dude, but that is life. You just have to learn how to deal with it. There is no more a time when humans are more animal-like than during adolescence. When schoolmates see fear in your eyes, or weakness, it’s like lions smelling blood. They taunt you endlessly. You can no more take that instinct out of a group of 15 year olds than you could teach a cheetah the “catch-and-release” program.

There is definitely a need for sensitivity towards other people today. There will always be a need to carefully watch and guard those of weaker mind and emotions. But to take all our social orders and continually make them more sterile and devoid of fun and gamesmanship is equally harmful. We try to make every single event in life either black or white, good or bad, but there’s just alot of gray out there. To continually look for somewhere to place the blame, always making the whole chain pay for the weak link is senseless too. It’s not the taunting, it’s the fool who would believe it.

I recently ran into an old friend from South Carolina who I enjoyed summer camp with as a teen. With her husband and kids in tow, she told me with smiles how she still remembered how during one of our “skit” nights I did a standup routine. Ala Don Rickles I had pointed out “that her Playtex Living Bra died of malnutrition..” I beamed with pride that I was remembered. It may have been a little embarrassing for her but it was just so darn funny. After the skit night she told me with verve just how fat I was. We were friends then, and still are now.

I just don’t know why we are all so set on removing every bump in life’s road. Our country was founded by the most reviled, rebuffed and rejected group of people since the beginning of time. And though our treatment and respect of one another should be a major concern and discipline. And though there are demeaning situations in our schools and communities that should not be tolerated. And even though the simplest taunt hurts. It is the victory over our taunters, our would be oppressors, that is the sweetest of all. That too, could be the root of our problems; as we remove every foe of the people, there is no victory left to be won.

Billy Murphy -- 9/15