Digging Politicians

A million years from now anthropologists on a dig will be trying to be piece together what killed the 20th century politician. Was it the Jesse Ventura's independent avalanche? Was it Y2K? Could it have been reform due to the earnest desire of the American voter to bring back honesty, loyalty and integrity? Yeah right, and there's a statue of Darwin in the Vatican. It is yet to be seen if politicians will ever go extinct (though some seem to have fossilized right before our eyes) but, the continuing morality issues concerning public servants seems be as thick as any dust cloud that has ever covered the earth.

Currently with George W. Bush heading the endangered species list, there seems to be no let up concerning the interest in the lifestyles and morality of politicians. It must be the modest, conscientious press that is concerned for the well being of the American people, who have brought these issues to the forefront. Or, maybe it is the politician's unbiased, reluctant opponents who want to put America first and point out the competition's shortcomings. Either way, America has been thrown headlong into the realm of watching searchlights splashed on everyone. Are we trying to find one honest man or have we just become bored with current TV fair like, "When Animals Turn on Their Masters."

The real question rests on the motives that brings so much dirty laundry out on the porch. Is America really concerned about a candidate's life, past or present, or are we just turning our head for the grisly chance to see blood? Our interests and our lack of embarrassment say so much about where we are as a culture today. Alot of people say our immodest behavior is a sign of the apocalypse. I think it's because we've had 10 years watching "The Simpson's" make human failure seem so darn funny. Things now are no worse than any other time in history, we're just so egotistical we think "our" times are just more important.

Even with the questions of drug use hanging over his head, George W. Bush has a comfortable lead over other nomination hopefuls. He gives a whole new meaning to the term "Party" candidate. Yet, Americans don't seem to care much about the whole issue. Of course, we don't even know the truth yet. But, as recent history has shown, the truth has little to do with the end result. That's why it's called politics. Noone is innocent in situations like this; we as a nation haven't spent the last 2 years reading the Amish Almanac.

American people as observers seem to be overly interested in insignificant details too. I was in a pizza place for lunch the other day and Newt Gingrich was shown in a news story concerning is impending divorce. Eavesdropping on the two ladies sitting next to me, which was way more interesting than the story, I heard one say. "It looks like he has gained all his weight back." The other replied, He's as big as Teddy Kennedy." Two of the most powerful politicians in our country and people are talking about their comparative beltlines. I guess it says something almost innocent about us though, as both of these men also have plenty of scandal to be known for, yet what grabs our attentions is just their big pants.

There is not much out there that could shock us (or amuse us) more than Monica-gate. As Mel Brooks says though, the difference between tragedy and comedy is just a punch line. And you don't get funnier than "Lewinsky" and "Tripp." Now that Warren Beatty is running for president we could be shocked all over again. Competitors, to quickly mire Sir Hollywood need only drudge out 2 skeletons; sister Shirley Maclaine or former flame Madonna. If this does not do him in, adversaries could simply canvas the streets with free videos of "Ishtar."

In the evolution of the political process little has changed except the microscope in which we view it under. This lens like all things in our brazen new world, is bigger, stronger and more likely to distort. (Nowadays too, the microscope seems to BE the event). There have always been lusty, dishonest, immoral and unrepentant politicians and always will be. Sorry to say, it makes them just like the rest of us. That is not to say we need to accept it or be indifferent. But living a life by talk radio is no answer either. The answer is the same as it ever was. We have the identical power as every democratic population before us; as a individuals we vote, as a body we rule. And I trust that when they are digging up bones a million years from now it will be the same.

Billy Murphy -- 8/24/99