WHO MADE THE MONSTER?
Who is to blame for these "powerful men" that we keep reading about in the news? You
know, the ones who have all these women employees at their knees with fear. Given
the recent Clintons, McKinneys and the like, seems like any man who has made it to
the top is being blamed for trying to, as the Rap song says, "get on top." So who is to
blame for these "monsters" that prey on women employees? Women are.
I know I might seem cold, but to be honest, I am a recovering "nice guy." I used to
be the sweet fella who sat in Biology and let all the girls cry on my shoulder about
their terrible boyfriends who treated them like dogs. Of course, they would never
dream of going out with a sweet, normal guy like me. Girls love the bad boys.
Bad boys are the real deal... risky, aggressive, strong and dangerous. Those are
the guys who get remembered. Those are the guys who make the "Senior Superlatives"
page. Those are the guys who make it as the CEO, the Commanding Officer, the President.
And do you think these guys were successful with women along the way? Do you think maybe
they could always do what they wanted and the girls would let them get away with
it?? Do you think a nice guy like me was jealous of these guys? You better believe
it!!
Yet, now we have a female society (that once loved this assertive behavior) saying,
"Hey, something is wrong here--these aggressive, macho womanizers (who were once
the prom date of choice) are totally out of control." This is like the fat guy blaming
Dairy Queen for his weight problem. I never dated these men. Women made these guys into
the monsters they are, not me.
This is a tricky premise in that there is no one category that all women fit. When
the stereotypical predatory male in a power position makes his sexual solicitation,
most women react differently. Some women give in out of fear. Some women give in
out of insecurity of self. Some women give in because they just want to have some fun. Some
women give in because it is a worthwhile trade-off that will lead to advancement.
Some women just handle it. Some women strike back, in essence saying, "My self-respect
is worth more than any job."
Are women really to blame for these monsters? Not all women for sure. Not the race
of woman-kind probably. But because of the actions (or non-actions) of some women,
these monsters have and will probably always thrive. Attacking the males who fit
this prototype works as well as asking a child to go and cut his own switch. The remedy for
this bad behavior must come from the victims, women. I am glad to see such a strong
force standing up for what is right, but until all women band together these predators
will always find prey. Do we really think the fox will ever have concern for the bunny?
To me, this is a pretty simple situation. When it comes to women, guys are dumb. Men
will only do what they can get away with. If they get away with it, they will push
forward. If they can't get away with it, they will stop. This is pretty much the
male formula for everything from constructing the Empire State Building to driving around
lost for 3 hours without directions. Take away their food supply and the rats will
starve.
Now is the time to change the way things are done. But, just like when I was in Biology
with those girls so many years ago, I would always ask that question: "Why do you
let him get away with it?" And it seems the answer always came back the same: "I
don't know, I just do." Now is the time to "don't." ---Billy Murphy