MIND YOUR MANNERS OR GO TO JAIL

Louisiana Legislation has ruled by an 89-16 vote that public school students must address their teachers as "sir" or "ma'am." With the addition of the governors signature, seemingly for the first time, a state will seek to force good manners and respect. For those of us common folk, who don't try to blame every social ill on the NRA or who don't try to explain truth as dependent on its "context," we know the value of good manners and respect. They're the foundation and the basis on which civilization rests--or doesn't. When it comes to manners, we now know just how bad things are; the government has gotten involved.

When I was growing up we were taught manners by our parents. There was no need for the government to get involved. Actually, we were taught by our community as well. I guess you might compare it to an elephant colony, wherein at the absence of a mother, a surrogate would step in and guide. Yet, I can't imagine even a 3 ton elephant being tougher than My Aunt Maude, who loved us kids dearly, but would make us fetch our own "punishment" from the switch tree, when we became too "common." She could raise a rod only like a good Pentecostal Holiness could.

There was not alot of logic when I was being taught manners as a child. I could get a whipping just for referring to my mother with a pronoun. When I would describe a situation to my dad for example, I would have to say "Momma, told us to take out the trash." My dad would start taking off his belt if any of us dared say, "'She' told us to take out the trash." I always found it ironic that we were taught manners through beatings. What rule of etiquette did that follow? And what was that ear twisting or back of the arm pinching my mom did? Was that really the mannerly response to my whispering in Church. Yet, I learned manners.

Manners still rule the day in my hometown of Macedonia, S.C. Even most of the adults still refer to each other by their formal names, e.g. "Mr. Bradberry," or "Miss. Bertie." If you are driving down the road, you will get a wave from nearly every oncoming car. I have an uncle obsessed with waving just the right way with his two fingers; acknowledging you, all the while keeping his hands on the steering wheel in the 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock positions. Heck, I have seen him wave at dogs on the side of the road before. (This is not to be confused with the one finger "city wave" we see in Atlanta).

Manners are different all over but they should be expected everywhere. The first problem they are going to find in Louisiana is deciding exactly what are good manners and what aren't? Letitia Baldridge would say implementing a "Noon Tea" in schools would promote good manners. Most teachers would settle for the students saying "Please, may I" and "Thank you" surrounding their requests to light the trash can on fire.

Historically speaking, shaking hands is said to have come from men putting down their weapons and offering their right hands in greeting, just as a tip of the hat supposedly comes from Knights raising the face plate of their helmet to show trust. This was good manners. In contrast, the Scottish, turning their backsides and raising their kilts is grandfather to many a school bus display of bad manners.

All of us as a parents and adults in a community should do our part to teach good manners, first by example then by gentle leading. The sarcastic, patronizing "And what do we say?" should be avoided at all costs. Simply put, it is our job to teach the children of the land good manners. How will your son know not to pull a girls hair or my daughter know not to dress up her Barbies as Hooter Girls? Looking for ways to teach and enforce good manners to our children is a good thing. It's a fundamental principle of respect for life.
Billy Murphy 6/17/99