MONICA
(tune of Silver Bells)
SEE THE BLACK HAIR, SEE THE BLANK STARE, COME ON GIVE US A SMILE
THERE'S A BOOK DEAL THAT WILL PAY YOU MILLIONS
YOU WERE MISLED BY THE BUTTHEAD.... SO YOU TOLD LINDA TRIPP
NOW THE TAPES PLAY AT NIGHT ON THE NEWS...
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MONICA... YOUR COVER'S BLOWN.. MONICA.. LEARN FROM PAULA JONES
IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE WHITEHOUSE
MONICA.. DON'T TRUST KENNETH STARR.. MONICA.. I GAVE UP CIGARS
SOON IT WILL BE IMPEACHMENT DAY
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JESSIE THE WRESTLING GOVERNOR
(tune of Rudolf...)
JESSIE THE WRESTLING GOVERNOR HAD A VERY SHINY HEAD
AND IF YOU EVER SAW HIM.. YOU MIGHT THINK HE WAS INBRED
AND ALL OF HIS OPPONENTS.. USED TO LAUGH AND CALL HIM NAMES
NOW THEY ALL WORK AT McDONALDS OR DELIVER CHICKEN CHOW MIEN
THEN ONE FATEFUL NOVEMBER EVE.. LENO CAME TO SAY...
JESSIE WITH YOUR BODY TIGHT.. WON'T YOU DO MY SHOW TONIGHT
THEN EVERYBODY LOVED HIM AS THEY SHOUTED IN THE AIR
JESSIE THE WRESTLING GOVERNOR .. NOW YOUR BIGGER THAN RICK FLAIR
KILL JERRY SPRINGER (tune of Frosty the Snowman)
KILL JERRY SPRINGER, WHAT A TIRED, BORING SHTICK
WITH A RACIAL FIGHT AND A TRANSVESTITE AND A TATOO LUNATIC
KILL JERRY SPRINGER, HE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR SECRETS NOW
THE MAN IN WHITE, DATES HIS BROTHER'S WIFE
THE MALE STRIPPER TAKES A BOW....
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THERE MUSTA BEEN SOME MAGIC IN THAT STUDIO THAT DAY...
WATCH THE GIRLS GET IN A FISTFIGHT, OVER THE BOYFRIEND THAT IS GAY
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KILL JERRY SPRINGER, SEE SANTA AS HIMSELF
HE'S GOTTA PROBLEM SEE... WITH OBESITY
AND HE LIKES TO PLAY WITH ELVES...
KILL JERRY SPRINGER, HAS A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS DAY
WITH THE KLU KLUX KLAN AND THE SKIN HEADS TOO
AND A STRIPPER... EXPOSE'....... !!