Titanic is one big rip off!!

Ok, so I am the last person living who has not seen "Titanic." I bet I see more movies than anyone born in a hospital yet, I purposefully avoid the really popular movies for as long as possible. I guess I think if something is that hip with the masses, there has to be some major fault with it. Like E.T. many years ago, I have never seen such a phenomenon as Titanic.

Now that it's been knocked out of it's #1 box office spot, I can sort of look at in retrospect. And you know what I discovered? Titanic is nothing more than a humongous ripoff of another sea tragedy story, "Gilligan's Island."

For example, both stories feature a tall, lanky protagonist who is respected by no one. Both stories feature a boat whose demise came by way of a hole in the hull. Both have theme songs that just won't leave your brain, once you hear them. Whenever you hear either song, you spend the rest of your day humming the tune.

Both Titanic and Gilligan's Island at their foundation are about different classes of people. Titanic divided it's passengers into different levels or decks representing differences in social status. Gilligan's Island consistently played against it's diversity of people. The educated professor, the beautiful actress, the working class skipper, the morally oppressed Maryann. And who was Titanic passenger John Astor's character patterned perfectly after? Mr. Howell of course!

Is it coincidence that the two red-haired "objects of affection" from each story just happened to have names significantly similar in that they touched the aural senses: The fragrant Rose, the aromatic Ginger. Is it coincidence that both actresses' first names contained just 4 letters: Kate & Tina. Is it coincidence that both actresses were just doing lames impersonations of more popular actresses? Tina Louise mimicking Marilyn Monroe, Kate Winslet duping Nicole Kidman.

Respect for the two different adventures though, could not be less similar. Gilligan's Island is laughed at and dismissed all too easily. Titanic is revered and worshipped all over the world. Yet both expect the same suspension of disbelief. Could the professor really make electricity from a bicycle? Could any poor sclub ever have a chance with a rich, beautiful socialite unless he looked exactly like Leonardo Di Caprio? Could the Titanic really have broken in half? Could Mrs. Howell really expect to use that large of a wardrobe on just a 3 hour tour? Should we expect that a hand drawn picture would stay intact for that long at the bottom of the sea? Should we expect that Gilligan and the Skipper's relationship would hold up as heterosexual while in the hands of Hollywood writers and producers? Strange questions, indeed

Yes, Titanic is just a ripoff of Gilligan's Island, there is no doubt. Yet, maybe the strangest fact concerning both Titanic and Gilligan's Island is both sagas in their individual arenas, found their greatest competition from "Lost in Space."

Billy Murphy -- 4/24/98