LET'S ALL BE SUNNY AND SHARE

Open wide and say "ah" is the only phrase more frightening to me than, "Billy would you like to share your feelings?" My wife Julie and I were with a bunch of friends recently and it turned into a rather open night of conversation. The pressure to be cheery and positive and still look like you are really sharing personal feelings inside these kinds of group friendships is challenging to say the least. All the fears I had as a youth; about being in "real," "adult" conversations has come to pass. I noticed that within our group of 8, every societal clique was represented. I embodied my parents. Leaving out my wife, for obvious diplomatic reasons, here are the other six "depictions" of society. (Real names have obviously been changed.)

Lisa Cameroons - The Conscientious Objectioner. Lisa shared frustrations concerning her college days in which her teachers would give out homework with not enough details. So, Lisa would continually ask questions like, "Do you want that term paper single-spaced or double-spaced?" or, "You forgot to give us an assignment for tomorrow." We all know this girl. Nowadays, Lisa sends encouragement cards to her kids' preschool teachers and she recycles.

Ben Swanson - The Strong Silent Type. Ben is the type of guy who is the nicest and most polite, yet he could easily crush your skull with his bare hands if he wished. Ben shared his frustrations in college concerning the type of student who would continually badger the teacher, leading to more work, tests and assignments. He then crushed Lisa's skull.

Agatha Pampas - Temperamental Career Woman - Agatha shared her vision to become the perfect career mom, wishing to work an ambitious day while also being a great mother in the evening with her kids. Agatha's fiery voice permeated the room with her objections to the attitudes of "perfect moms" who criticize any mother who would work. She then asked Ben if he would teach her how to crush skulls.

Anthony Cameroon - The Wrestle-Maniac. Husband to Lisa, Anthony confessed his obsession with Sunday afternoons filled with watching Hulk Hogan, Rick Flair and other men in tights. In a moment of impassioned discourse, Anthony even put on his "Mask of Death." He then objected to the attitudes of others who would call pro wrestling fake. He made a mental note to ask Hulk Hogan to crush some skulls.

Felipe' and Renata Rude' - The Fawning, Perfect Couple. Auspiciously respectful for one another, this married, dynamic duo shared their desire to care for the less fortunate than them, "Those," as they described, "that weren't lucky enough to be married to ... us." (Insert your own "skull crushing" joke here).

Dirk Nobbley - The Breadwinner. Hardworking, persistent and thoughtful, Dirk mostly beamed proud concerning his children. He did share his exasperation with the media circus surrounding a certain Washington public figure who has continually abused his world dominating power, Warren Greenspan.

Janice Nobbley - The Sensitive, Interested Type. Janice couldn't share of herself at all because of her earnest desire to learn of everyone else's problems and frustrations. Not one to be outdone Lisa began her own competitive banter of caring. The evening ended with the rest of the group chanting "Cat Fight, Cat Fight" only to be disappointed that Janice and Lisa resolved with a hug.

Billy Murphy -- 10/16/98