SPAMMING THE GLOBE, THE NURSERY RHYMES

Feeling in a rather Mother Goosey mood, Here are some of our current events put to childish verse.

Yokel Doodle went to town, a-riding on a pony
Stuck it too America and proved to be a phony
Yokel Doodle Arkansas, Yokel Doodle Dandy
Now he'll surely get his due for keeping interns handy

Ted and Jane went up the hill to fetch a pail of money
Ted fell down and sued the clown until it wasn't funny
Up Ted got and home to trot, Jane ironed and pressed his creases
12 valets attended him while he sent out press releases

This little piggy invested in the market, this little piggy mortgaged his home
This little piggy bought microsoft, using his cellular phone
And all those piggy's had to say "bye" to their cash and are now all alone

George, George the hurricane, hit the beach in a pouring rain
The storm did groan, The storm did moan, and it flattened every mobile home

Batting Cage, Batting Cage, Record Breaking Man
Hit me a homer as fast as you can
Mark it with an infrared and mark it with a laser
If I catch your record hit, I'll visit my appraiser

Little Boy Blue, Chicago athelete, you hit them so far, they land in the street
Why doesn't the press, your feats embrace? Cause the world doesn't care about second place

Little Jerry Springer, interviews a swinger, eating his Christmas pie
The guest throws a punch, and I've got a hunch, he's the best that money can buy

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses couldn't make the repair, but they got him viagra and he didn't care

Rub a dub, three men in a tub, living in a small cohabitat
I will end with this weird rhyme, not that there's anything wrong with that

Billy Murphy -- 10/9/98