WAIT PERSON REFORM

There were alot of laws coming into effect as of January 1, 1998 and of course there was the new 10 digit dialing cacophony. So maybe we should use this time of change to rethink the way we do business with those who serve us our steaks.

First we need to reform ourselves. Contrary to popular behavior in restaurants, slavery has been abolished. Waiters and Waitresses are there to serve us yes, but treating them like they are a different social class or treating them, as is much the case, as sub-human is out of order. One day we should expect to see a Oliver Stone or Steven Speilberg docu-movie called, "Waitresses; Vassal Nation to the Hungry with Visa Cards. "

We probably are hindered developmentally in this area, as we were raised with our moms waiting on us hand and foot. She would cook the meal, serve the meal and clean up the meal, all the while, our role would be to say things like, "Got any more potatoes?" or "Where is my Batman glass with the super powered rocket jet?" My mom once complained to my dad, "Your son Billy just told me to bring him his leftover hamburger from the refrigerator!!" My dad replied, "While you're at it, get me my tea." Thus, we sometimes see our waiter or waitress as a meager ghost to how we were once accommodated. We should see them as individuals with problems, families (redundant?) and an extra 5 pounds left over from holiday binging, just like us.

Another area we could reform ourselves a bit is with the tip. It goes to our core as to what we think that "service charge" actually is. There is the old joke about the guy whose tip is, "plant corn early." There is alot of truth in that philosophy that leaves servers holding nothing but a dime. Some see the tip as extra, as us doing them a favor. Yet, as a civilized, social culture 10% is set as the least we should give, 15% as normal, and extra only coming beyond that. It is amazing to me, how many people will have a $20 tab, leave $1 tip and wink and smile at the waitress ala Austin Powers, like they are saying, "Hey, check it out. You are going to be loving me. Yeah Baby!!"

Sometimes we as tippers give the excuse that wait persons don't even deserve the 10%. We hold on to one horror story from back in 1984 when some waiter spilled our food, or took too much time. We become like a Vietnam vet. We look at our spare cash of a $1 and a $5 and while trying to choose between cheap or gracious it triggers a flashback. We then gather the table in like some agent orange conspiracy tale drawing on our bad experience to justify why we are gonna inevitably keep that 5 dollar bill. After we tell it, the whole table thinks we are a hero to even leave the $1. We should just grow up and see leaving a nice tip as part of being big and adult.

Sure, the wait profession could reform itself a bit too. They could quit pouring into half filled tea glasses and coffee cups thereby, ruining our perfect sugar blend. They could quit saying "do you want any change back," when we have given them a $20 for an $11 bill. They could once recognize a mouth full or food or someone giving a blessing. Yet, this is a profession that has served us all more than we have ever given credit or ever paid it's worth; in money or in attitude.

Billy Murphy 1/2/98