We all have fears of certain things. These are called phobias. Technically a phobia is a fear that is illogical or irrational. Being afraid in some instances is good. As a child we learn correctly, that we should be fearful when we cross the street.
Yet, in some instances our fears can become spurious; for instance, when a person is afraid to enter an elevator. Even worse, when a person enters an elevator and is afraid someone on the elevator will say, "I'm not just a Jehovah's Witness, I'm an Amway salesman too." Personally, I just have a fear of getting a phobia. Could this be called Phobaphobia? Here are some of the ones I have had lately. Maybe you have them too?
ALABAMAPHOBIA -- Fear that your family reunion's theme this year is "The Dating Game."
COIFFUREAPHOBIA -- Fear of finding a hair in your soup, then discovering Al Sharpton is your waiter and Don King is the cook.
ZOMBAPHOBIA -- Fear that the walking dead not only have risen from the grave but desire big, wet, kisses.
IVERSONAPHOBIA -- Fear that an NBA player will kick in your door.
ALROKERAPHOBIA -- Waking up in the middle of the night and fearing that the person lying under the covers next to you is a burly NBC weatherman.
BUBBLEAPHOBIA -- While trying to impress a girl in the swimming pool, fear that you will get one of those huge air bags in the front of your bathing trunks.
AD NAUSEAMAPHOBIA -- Fear you get in church when minister is still talking 20 minutes after he has said, "In conclusion."
ACMEAPHOBIA -- Fear that maladroit manufacturing company will finally develop product that enables coyote to seize and devour roadrunner.
DRABAPHOBIA -- Fear all UPS employees have of wearing brown uniform shorts and socks.
CREATIVEMEMORYAPHOBIA -- Fear, while looking through someone's family album, they say, "Hurry up, we have 7 more scrapbooks to go."
WORLDCOMAPHOBIA -- Make up your own joke here.
ORWELLAPHOBIA -- Fear your pet will turn the tables on you by holding you down and tickling your stomach until you pee on the carpet.
BUTTAPHOBIA -- Fear of being at the end of every joke found in America (see also, George-W-itis, Oprah Syndrome and the original, Michael Jackson Disease).