If Mother Goose had written her nursery rhymes from the Fayette County perspective in 2002:

Little men in blue come, blow your horn!
Turn on your siren, the motorists to warn.
Pull them all over on Hwy 74.
Write them a ticket so, they speed no more.

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Huddle House Cook
Make me a waffle and don't overlook
The bacon and hasbrowns and add syrup real nasty,
And come visit me when I'm having angioplasty.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack, warm up before you jump that candle stick.
Don't you know you could pull a muscle!

To Kroger, to Kroger, to get us some food,
Lost my wife and kids among the multitude.
To Kroger, to Kroger, just to get some taters,
Home again, home again, it's two hours later.

Georgy Porgy, pudding pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
Poor little Georgy if, only he'd known
Eckerd sells Scope, as well as cologne.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty started to fall;
But the Planning Commission,
Wouldn't grant him permission,
So, Humpty just went to the mall.

Little Miss Boomer, born the consumer
Drove her SUV; just leaving home
The traffic was backed up, as she put on her make-up,
And dialed her celluar phone.